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The Unfiltered Guide to Goldendoodles: Navigating the Fluffy, the Furry and the Downright Fraudulent

Updated: Aug 31, 2023

Welcome to the Doodle Craze, My Friends

Ah, the Goldendoodle—a lovable concoction of fur, wagging tails, and enough Instagrammable moments to power a thousand influencers. It's as if someone crossed a Hallmark card with a Roomba that also fetches your slippers. But before you dash out to acquire your living, breathing stuffed animal, it's high time we talk about the shadowy world of Goldendoodle breeding. Yes, you heard me—shadowy.

A Quick Primer for the Uninitiated

For those living under a rock—or perhaps under a mound of dog hair—let me break it down for you. A Goldendoodle is the fashionable spawn of a Poodle and a Golden Retriever, first conjured in the ’90s to do nothing less than save humanity. OK, maybe just to serve as a hypoallergenic guide dog. Same difference, right?

The Gold(en) Standard and the Doodle Duds

The Highs

  1. Allergy-Proof-ish: Adorable and hypoallergenic? Yes, please! Technically, no dog is hypoallergenic, however, a lot of people that have allergies have no issues with Goldendoodles.

  2. Low Shedding: Anything with hair will shed, at least a little. In our experience, we notice very little shedding with our Goldendoodles and generally speaking typically the curlier the coat the less it tends to shed, but there are exceptions to every rule.

  3. Einstein Meets Lassie: Goldendoodles are quick learners, perhaps too quick. Don't be surprised if you find your doodle browsing Amazon for the latest in chew toy technology. One of our Goldendoodles has figured out how to open doors, now we need to buy new door handles, these lever handles are no match for our Roxy!

  4. The Friendliest Floof: If charm were currency, Goldendoodles would be the Warren Buffetts of the canine world. Seriously, they will steal your heart one cuddle session at a time.

The Lows

  1. Forrest Gump's Box of Chocolates: These critters are as unpredictable as a Twitter feud. One might be calm and hypoallergenic, while its sibling could make a Tasmanian Devil look sedate. This is why working with a good breeder that does temperament testing is so important.

  2. Healthcare on Four Legs: Ah, yes. In the rush to create a hybrid wonder-dog, let's not forget the potential for hip dysplasia, allergies, and a lifetime of vet visits. If a breeder is doing all the recommended genetic and OFA testing, it can significantly reduce a lot of health related issues, especially genetic issues.

  3. The Overbreeding Circus: Backyard breeders and puppy mills are still a huge problem. Make sure whomever you buy from is doing genetic and breed recommended health testing such as OFA hips, eyes, cardiac and patellas.

The Kafkaesque World of Doodle Breeding

Ethical Breeding: Not Just a Buzzword

  1. Know Your ABCs (And Your Hip Scores): Reputable breeders could write a dissertation on their dogs’ genetic backgrounds. A reputable breeder should have genetic testing on both parents and breed related OFA testing, these vary by size and breed

  2. Early Life, Best Life: These are the puppyhood equivalent of kids who go to Montessori schools.

  3. Transparency, Baby: If a breeder's more open than an episode of Dr. Phil, you're on the right track.

When Doodle Dreams Turn Into Nightmares

  1. Puppy Mills, the Dark Web of the Dog World: You don’t want to get a dog from a place that could be an exposé on 60 Minutes.

  2. Health Schmealth: What’s a couple thousand dollars in vet bills among friends?

  3. Premium Prices for Designer Genes: Is your Doodle a "rare" color? That'll be an extra $1,000, please.

Investing in Fluff: The Real-World Stakes

When you buy a Goldendoodle from a breeder who knows what they're doing, it's like investing in Google in the '90s. It’s a long-term commitment to excellence. You're not just acquiring a pet; you're landing a family member, a therapist, and a vacuum cleaner all rolled into one.

How to Choose Your Doodle Dealer

  1. Show Me the Papers: Health certificates are your new love language.

  2. Let Me See Where the Magic Happens: A tour of the breeding facility should feel like an episode of MTV Cribs, not Hoarders.

  3. Warranty Included: An ethical breeder will stand by their dogs, even when they turn your favorite shoes into a chew toy.

Final Thoughts from Your Humble Dog Prophet

Goldendoodles are like that Instagram influencer who actually looks good without filters. But just as you wouldn't buy a Picasso from a guy named "Sketchy Steve," take the time to find a breeder who’s as top-notch as the doodle you’re hoping to add to your family. Remember, in a world filled with fake news, your doodle should be nothing but real.

So, there you have it. Your guide to navigating the fur-flung universe of Goldendoodles, from the fabulous to the fraudulent. Happy doodling, and may your future be as fluffy as the dog you're about to get!

Photo Credit to: Krista John, find her on Instagram @thejohnswerehere

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